Soft Power, Strong Fight Blog Series - Part 4 | Becoming the Woman I Needed

I used to think she would arrive one day.

Calm. Sorted. A woman who knew what she wanted, with a skincare routine and a life plan to match.

Spoiler: she never showed up.

Because no one ever planned for her to be found.

She had to rebuild herself. It came through grief and grit. It happened in those quiet moments when she thought, “This can’t be my life.” At times, she almost gave up.

And I’m still building her.

I am becoming her.

Not the woman others expected me to be.

Not the one shaped by survival or obligation.

But the woman I need - and want.

With no apologies. No performative peace. No barriers.

She’s changing as I do.

I’m not chasing one fixed version of myself any more.

My needs might shift. My vision might pivot.

That’s not failure - it’s growth.

It’s the beauty of being agile with yourself.

Of saying: “This version of me is valid. And the next one will be too.”

I might evolve into a woman who is an improvement on my original design.

How wild - and freeing - is that?

Becoming Her Looks Like…

Saying “no” with my chest.

Letting silence be the full stop, not the start of over-explaining.

Taking up space without permission.

And not bending for anyone who can’t meet me where I am at.

I’m done being palatable.

I have finished being the reliable one while feeling a deep inner turmoil.

Done playing small so someone else can feel big.

This isn't a bounce-back. It’s a becoming.

This journey? It’s not polished. It’s not perfect.

It’s honest.

It’s real.

It’s tears at night, wins in the morning, and learning to love the woman in the mirror just as she is.

I’m becoming the woman I needed during my times of tiredness, doubt, and disappearance.

But more than that?

I’m becoming the woman I want.

Fully. Loudly. Unapologetically.

And you better believe — she’s just getting started.